December 18, 2009. Less than 3 weeks to surgery.

There are likely several dozen other blogs that deal with this exact same subject.  I don't know.  I didn't check. 

Here's the deal.  In less than three weeks time I'm scheduled to undergo bariatric surgery to have a large portion of my stomach removed.  I decided to use this blog as a method to share my experience and my thoughts leading up to the surgery and then relate my experiences after the surgery.  I've decided to keep this relatively anonymous on my part mainly because only my wife and my son know about my decision to undergo this procedure.  So, I'm trying to be careful about the amount of details that I post regarding my personal life.

I will tell you this: I am 39-years old and live in Utah.  Yes, I am a Mormon an proud of it.  I am an attorney and I love my job.  I also currently weigh about 348 pounds on a 6"1' frame.  I have struggled with my weight for most of my life.  I started gaining weight in the third grade and have been chubby ever since.  As a freshman in high school I was 5'6 and 187 pounds.  Fortunately for me I discovered sports and weight lifing around that time.  I also hit puberty and gret 7 more inches.  By the time I graduated I was 6'1 and weighed 230 pounds, though at that time I carried a lot of muscle along with the fat and I felt that I was in relatively decent shape.  Even at that weight I could dunk a basketball and exercised fairly regularly.  Still, I never lost weight.


Entering my first year of college I finally tried to get serious about dieting.  Over the next year I was pretty good and lost about 19 pounds, bottoming out at 211 lbs.  Shortly thereafter, I left on a Mormon mission to Central America.  I contracted a case of amoebic  disentary  which caused quite a bit of weight loss.  I  eventually bottomed out at  about 189 lbs.  I was thin and looked pretty good (though not very "toned" as I'd lost a lot of muscle mass as part of the weight loss). 


After returning to the U.S. I re-enrolled in college and I was able to exercise fairly regularly, though I did being to gain weight again.   When I met my wife, I weighed approximately 220 lbs, but I still felt I was in decent shape as I carried the weight pretty well.  That I "carried the weight well" was a motto of mine for a long time. 


Since that time I've steadily gained weight.  Marriage, children (I have six) and school combined to make my life more sedentary.  I tried the phen/phen thing for about 3 months in the mid-90's and it worked well.  However, I discovered long ago that I would make a fabulous drug addict as my body very quickly becomes accustomed to drugs and they tend to lose their effect on my rather quickly.  Since that time I've tried phentermine alone (with some success) and another amphetamine called Didrex, which was supposed to be even more powerful than Phentermine, but which I thought was total crap as it did nothing fore me.  At least with Phentermine I'd get the occasional heart flutter and the "buzz" that goes with an amphetamine.  Didrex did nothing for me.  I've also tried various herbal remedies (Ma Huang and that silly cactus plant from South Africa).  No real results from those either.  Finally, I tried Alli (the poop diet) which also didn't do anything for me. 


When it comes right down to it, I really like to eat.  I'm sure there are all types of psychological reasons for that but I've no real interest in exploring them here.  Just know that over 16 years of marriage I've slowly gained over 130 pounds. 


As I've gotten heavier, my wife has become more and more concerned and even hurt to some degree.  I know that she feels that my weight gain is, in some way, a reflection on her.  While I know this isn't true I can certainly understand why she feels that way.  My weight has also become a practical concern for her.  Because I am self-employed we have to self-insure, but my weight prevents me from being insured without paying literally thousands of dollars a year extra.  She's concerned that I'll either drop dead and leave her with nothing but bills and unpaid mortgage or that I'll get very sick and bankrupt us because I don't have insurance.  Fortunately, I have had blood tests and EKGs done over the years any my cholesterol levels and my heart have always been healthy despite the weight.


About 2-3 months ago I finally got tired of being fat.  If you've never been fat it's hard to know what life is like.  Your clothes never quite fit right.  The waist of your pants is too tight but you are always pulling them up.  You have to buy extra long shirts because your stomach pooches out below a normal shirt.  Airline seats are too small.  Getting in and out of your car becomes a chore.  But even beyond such little indignities, you start to lose your family many ways.  My oldest boys are in scouts, but as I've gained weight it has become nearly impossible for me to go on hikes and camp outs with them.  Not just because my back screams when I hike, but because I can't really fit into a sleeping bag anymore.  My daughter want to play catch and I just don't have the energy.  Finally, my relationship with my wife had suffered.  Sex, quite frankly, is hard with a fat guy.


So, one night in bed I approached my wife with the idea of having bariatric surgery.  Specifically, I was considering the Lap Band system, which is essentially a little inflatable donut they put around the outside of your stomach and then inflate to create a small pouch on the upper part of your stomach.  To tell the truth, I was worried about how she'd react.  In my own mind, this was  a surrender and a cop out.  I was essentially admitting that I was a failure.  But I also felt that maybe I was just taking the easy way out again, as I did with all the pills and diets, etc.  Anyway, to her credit, she jumped at it, which should have probably told me something about how deeply concerned she's been about this problem. 


More later.